Students vs. Teachers :)

  TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find   North America    .

  MARIA:         Here it  is.

  TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered  America ?

  CLASS:         Maria.

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  TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the  floor?

  JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.

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  TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

  GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

  TEACHER:  No, that's wrong

  GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

 

  (I  Love this child)

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  TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

  DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.

  TEACHER:   What are you talking about?

  DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.

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  TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today

                        that we didn't have ten years ago.

  WINNIE:       Me!

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  TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

  GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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  TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  '

  MILLIE:         I  is..

  TEACHER:     No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.'

  MILLIE:         All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

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  TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's

  cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his

  father didn't punish him?

  LOUIS:           Because George still had the axe in his hand....

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  TEACHER:    Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

  SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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  TEACHER:       Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the

                           same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?

  CLYDE    :         No, sir. It's the same dog.

  (I want to adopt this kid!!!)

 

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  TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking

  when people are no longer interested?

  HAROLD:     A teacher

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